If the dead were to rise up and begin feasting on our brains, well, it doesn’t matter if you’ve read the Zombie Survival Guide or not. Odds are, we’re screwed.
At least, this is according a new study from the University of Ottawa.
Assistant mathematics professor Robert J. Smith? (apparently he needs a question mark in his name to distinguish himself from other researchers with the same name…and the lead singer for The Cure, I’d assume,) and a group of students ran mathematical models of a zombie outbreak using similar techniques as pandemic researchers.
Their conclusion was grim. In almost every model the research team ran, the human race was quickly eradicated.
The most positive scenario added in a vaccine, which had the human race survive, but in lower numbers.
The study concludes that the only way to handle a zombie threat is “frequent attacks with increasing force” will eliminate the zombies, but only if enough resources can be gathered up in time.
On a side note, reading over the paper left me wonder. If we’d worked on something like this in high school math rather than just having a series of letters and numbers on the board and having to “find X,” where X turns out to be the same letters and numbers jumbled together differently, well, I might not hate math as much as I do.
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